The art in this game is pretty good. The images look nice and it doesn't make you struggle to see what is going on in the scenes. It doesn't take long to get to understand where the story is going either, which is nice that you don't have a long, long wait to get to what seems to be the main purpose of the story.

That said, the story itself could use some work. Too many events are happening right behind each other that are connected, but don't seem to be connected to each other. Some things need an explanation and you don't really get one because you are just thrust into the next scene/scenario.

I can see that English may be a second language as well, just based on how some words are used in incorrect ways. If it is possible, I would suggest getting someone to translate, or if that option isn't readily available, find someone who would like to help give your words the context that you want them to have. You may be able to find people in different gaming sites that would be happy to participate in cleaning up the wording to get the point you want across. It would be better to find someone who is a native English speaking in order to do so.